Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
