Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
