You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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