Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
