honey bunches of taint.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize