i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
