Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i will never coherently bang her
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
