Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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