conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize