I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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