so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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