Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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