is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
