You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We need to get me chipped asap
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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