I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
