So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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