Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
