My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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