Sry I called you an 8
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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