He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i was born a porn star she said
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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