I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
