just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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