Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
