I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
