he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
