Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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