Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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