Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
