2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
