Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
