Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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