He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He uses pillows to masturbate.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
