I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
