I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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