Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
