i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Randomize