im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
