if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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