is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize