You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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