I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
