he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
