My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
