Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
