If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
