NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
