My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize