I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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