he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
