so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Rumble strips road head = magical
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
