There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize