A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
