Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
