He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize