the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
