I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize