I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
