Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize