Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
