would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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