i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
