he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you made out with another girl for some wings
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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