it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize